Family History
I wanted a family just like
the one I came from:
a mother, a father, four children,
me somewhere in the middle.
I wanted a husband I could work with,
a house with cats, an aviary,
and a backyard with a kōwhai.
I didn’t know – or plan – how
these would be achieved.
Mum and Dad swapped shifts,
serving in the shop, watching us.
Sometimes it was unnerving
how close they were.
Though not when Mum was in hospital
enduring who knew what. She never
remembered after she came home.
Some of my desires were activated –
the cats, the birds, the kōwhai;
the four siblings, the shared job.
How did I miss the loneliness,
the despair, of Mum knowing
about Dad’s fifth child,
my youngest sister?
© Laurice Gilbert
Laurice Gilbert
The Loch Raven Review 